INTERFERENCE
- Don't go into the dugout to give instructions.
The girls have coaches, and they have worked hard on developing
cohesion and a mental attitude toward the game. Yelling out tips,
advice, correction, or criticism will in no way improve your
daughter's performance. The same principle holds true in yelling out
advise from the sidelines. Keep in mind, the content and accuracy of
the information is not the issue. Help not asked for is criticism.
If your daughter has not asked for your advise, then don't give it.
- Don't question the coach's decisions during or
between games.
As a parent, you have a right to your opinion regarding playing
time, attitude, criticism, etc. However, I recommend the 24 hour
rule - speak to the coach 24 hours after the game. By then, the dust
has settled, tempers have cooled, and saner heads prevail. At that
time, be specific as to your concerns. Beginning at approximately 14
years old, I believe it is important for you to empower your
daughters, and teach them to take care of their own needs. Rather
than speak for them, encourage them to speak up for themselves.
- Don't make a spectacle of yourself during the
game.
Loud and rude comments to umpires, opposing coaches, or even
opponents may seem humorous to you, but your daughter is cringing in
the dugout with embarrassment. Always keep in mind that you are a
role model, and act on the field the way you would want your child
to behave.
- Don't tell your daughter everything she has done
wrong on the ride home from the game.
Trust me, this is not what is considered quality time and sharing.
You may think it is helpful, but she feels criticized. In addition,
she already knows that the error she made in the seventh inning that
allowed the winning run to score was not good, and does not need to
be reminded of it by you.
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INVOLVEMENT
- Always be positive.
Learn to encourage, not criticize. If you don't have something good
to say, don't say it.
- Be a parent, not an agent.
Talk to your daughter regarding her concerns, and help her to learn
to take care of most issues herself. Rather that criticize coaches
and players, and make excuses for herself, take the excellent
opportunity to teach her how to cope with adversity. Don't make
lists of demands for the coaches to follow.
- Spend time practicing at home.
In the years to come, you will both treasure the memories of tossing
the ball around, much more so than of victories and losses.
- Volunteer your time.
Ask the coach how you can help, and follow his/her direction. Your
daughter will appreciate your positive involvement, and be proud to
have you as part of her team.
- Attend games and cheer.
As I have stated on many occasions, we must always keep in mind that
positive self esteem is the primary goal of sports, not [just]
winning or losing.
- End of Excerpt
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